The Way I Feel
by ncis-4-ever-and-ever
Summary: The way Ziva feels about Tony, and how she sees him. TIVA!
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own NCIS. No copyright intended!**

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**Chapter 1: The Way He Looks At Me**

The way his big, hazel eyes pierce into my soul makes my heart sink deep down into my chest. They make me feel like I am the only one in the room, the only one that matters to him. They make me feel safe, and secure about myself. I guess when he looks at me, I feel beautiful. They make me feel loved, happy even.

When he looks at me, it's like the whole world stops, and no one else is there except for us. He looks at me like he's ready to take a bullet for me at any minute, like he would risk his own life just to save mine. His eyes tell me everything that his heart says but his mouth won't let him.

*Flashback*

Tony pulled me in close as the lights dimmed and the music slowed down. His eyes glistened in the light as we swayed to the soft sound of the music. He watched me with such care and compassion, and I did the same. In that moment I remembered what my father had told me many years ago, "One day you will dance with a man who deserves your love." I wanted to tell him something that was long over due, but in that moment, we were too busy talking with our eyes.

*End of Flashback*

When he looks at me I barely remember everything that I have been through. Except Somalia. Because I share important memories with him there. After all, he was the one who saved me, and believed that I was alive when no one else did, or when no one else would.

And how could I forgot what he told me, "Couldn't live without you I guess." Believe me, it meant a lot to me when he said it, but I was too broken to believe that he actually meant it, so I just brushed it off. I believe that I am still broken now, and I got the scars to prove it. But when I'm with him, he makes all of those bad memories go away, just like that. It's like it never even happened. Although when I look at my arms, or my back, or anything really, I realize that what I am feeling in that moment with him is just a dream, or a happy little fairy tale that I want to happen. Except I feel safe with Tony. If I lost him I would not know what to do.

If I did not have Tony in my life, I would be completely lost. I would feel like Alice felt in the movie "Alice in Wonderland." Wow, his movie references are really rubbing off on me.

He makes me feel things that no one else could ever make me feel. He makes me feel safe, special. He makes me feel that I belong, that I matter.

Without Tony, well I would not have anyone to bicker with. I would not have someone to mess around with Mcgee with. I would not have the one person that mattered the most to me, the one who makes me feel unique. The one who makes me feel like a ninja, or a crazy Israeli chick, no matter how much I hate to be called that.

I would not have my best friend, or my partner. No scratch that. I would not have the best partner in the world at my side or at my six.

Without Tony, I would be alone, I would not know what to do.

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**Reviews are always appreciated! Thanks for reading :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you guys so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**I still don't own NCIS. No copyright intended!**

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Chapter 2: The Way I See Him

The way I see him is, hard to explain. Well he is remarkable. He is one of the bravest people I know. He would do anything for his friends, even risk his own life for them. He would leave no man behind as one would say.  
He is basically like a dog but with the heart of a lion. He is loyal, and he's a "man's best friend," with a big heart. Or maybe he is like a dolphin. When you are lost or trouble, he will find you, save you.

Tony is my partner, my best friend. Maybe even my soul mate. He is special to me. I might go as far and say he is my hero. He is like Superman and I am Lois Lane. Or he is Spiderman and I am Mary Jane. Wow, I really need to stop making these movie references.  
But it is true. He is always at my six, and he saves me when I am in trouble, or just helps me when I need him.

*Flashback*

_When we were locked in a container._

_When we went undercover._

_When I got framed._

_When I was dismantling the bombs._

_Warned me about Rivkin._

_Tried to find me._

_Saved me in Somalia, and brought me back...alive._

_Forgave me._

_Was there for me when Ray broke my heart._

_Tried to protect me in the elevator when the bomb went off._

_Was there for me when I told him about Tali._

_Brought the opera to me._

_Was there for me when my father died._

_Helped me get through it._

_Told me that I wasn't alone in all of this, when I lost my last family member._

_Made me feel special for who I was, when Orli came to town._

_Protected me when the car smashed into us._

_Defended me with Parsons._

_And forgave me again._

*End of Flashback*

Honestly, what more could you ask for of one person. He is basically the whole package. He is hot, he has a great personality although he can be immature at times, he is sweet, loyal, and he keeps me safe. He makes me feel loved, and unique.

Oh my God, I cannot believe what I am saying...well thinking right now.

Tony is basically a rock with a soft candy like center. He is strong on the outside but is full of love, and compassion on the inside.

Although. There is two things I hate about Tony. He stares at every woman that passes him by, and he has commitment issues. Well, I cannot really blame him on the second one. He is probably afraid that if he gets to close to a woman they will just disappear on him, kind of like his mom did. Only she didn't disappear, she died.

I just wish that he would finally notice. I mean I give him hints, clues even, but he still does not get it. He does not get that maybe I am possibly...no I cannot not think about it. If I think about it, it will lead to feelings, and feelings would lead to breaking rule 12. I just cannot go against Gibbs no matter how much I possibly want to.

Well I do not think that I am the only one going against it. I mean I see the way he looks at me. Anyone could see this. And people have noticed. I even thought Gibbs noticed multiple times.

I think he tries not to notice the clues I give him because he is afraid. Afraid of what could happen.

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**Again reviews and favorites are always appreciated. I will try to keep to a Daily-Update. Let me know what you would want to see in future chapters too.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you guys so much! You guys are the best. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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**Chapter 3: The Way He Thinks**

Well he is basically like a child at sometimes with the heart of a warrior.

See, at times he can be immature, sarcastic, not serious, and what is the word, oh a flirt. I mean, he does keep the workplace fun, but sometimes it can be annoying. And the way he always flirts with almost every woman, makes me...upset. I guess...maybe it can make me somewhat jealous. No matter how much I hate to admit.

Every time I see him staring at other women, or flirting with them, my heart breaks a little. I know how cheesy that must sound but it does. With him I feel like it's one step forward and then two steps back. It is basically like we are going no where because when things start to go well between us, something bad always happens.

*Flashback*

Going undercover, then almost getting killed.

Starts flirting with me a little, and then Jeanne comes into play.

Jeanne finally leaves, and then the team gets broken up.

Tony and I get very close when we are hiding from the security personnel, and then we get attacked.

The team gets back together, then Rivkin comes into my life, and Tony shoots him.

Tony says that he did it for me, then I knock him to the ground, and they leave me in Israel.

I start to miss Tony, then I go on a suicide mission to Somalia.

Tony saves me, and then I do not see them for a month.

I kiss Tony on the cheek, and then Gibbs almost doesn't let me come back to NCIS.

Gibbs agrees to let me come back, but there is tension between me and Tony.

We go to Paris, but we have to protect Nora.

I save Tony at a baseball scene, and then a little while after, EJ comes to town.

Ej leaves, and Ray enters my life.

Tony says: "You and I have a lot in common in that respect.", then Ray calls.

Tony finally takes interest, and Ray proposes.

Ray breaks my heart, but Tony was there for me.

Tony and I talk about weddings, and then we have to prepare for a bombing.

I tell Tony that I won't leave without him, and then the elevator crashes. But we do fall into each others arms.

We get rescued, but then we find out what happened to the rest of our team.

We had moments in the elevator, then he flirts with the facility manager.

Tony brings the opera to me, and then his Dad comes to visit.

He told me I looked good in the "Bun in the Oven" shirt, and then my father and Jackie Vance gets shot.

He was there for me, and then Bodnar showed up.

Tony said, "Aht Lo Levahd," and then I slept with Adam.

He tries to look after me, and then finds me with Mcgee.

We go to Berlin, but Orli comes to NCIS to help.

We have our moments in Berlin, including a dance, and holding hands, and then we get in a car crash.

We come out alive, but I become secretive.

He worries about me, but then Parsons comes to investigate.

Tony defends me from Parsons, when he starts yelling at me.

He tells me that I was not alone again, but I had already hurt him by sleeping with Adam.

Tony forgives me, but I say that I care too much about our friendship.

He kisses me on the forehead, but says, "Nothing is awkward between friends."

*End of Flashback*

Even though this always happens to us, he still has the heart of a warrior. He is like a big, hairy butt, teddy bear. He will always be there for you and will always give you the love that you need, because even though you may not deserve it, he thinks you do.

That's just the way that he thinks.

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**I am still going to try to stick to a daily- update, but my schedule is kind of busy. Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you guys so much, but this is the last chapter :( Hope you liked it!**

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**Chapter 4: The Way He Feels About...Us**

Well, it is pretty confusing. I mean he acts like he is falling in love with me one minute and then acts like we are just friends the next.  
But the way he looks at me, or acts around me gives me hope. Hope that one day we will share our feelings with each other. I mean I do, care for him. I care for him a lot. Maybe I even care so much that I...love him. No I cannot say that, I can't even think that. Well, maybe I can a little bit.

No. That is impossible. We cannot go against Gibbs. Well, I know for a fact Tony won't. He thinks of Gibbs as a father. And so do I. After my actual father died, he is the only one I have left.

Although. Since we did resign, we are not under Gibbs rules anymore. So, technically, we would not be going against Gibbs. But Tony would not see it that way. He still believes that Gibbs will come back, and don't get me wrong I do too!

I just wish that he will take a leap of faith on me. Honestly, I do not know how long I will be able to keep this up, the flirting but doing nothing about it.

He means the world to me, and I would doing anything for him. Seriously, I would probably take a bullet for him if I had to. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. When I came to NCIS, he was the one who first noticed me:

*Flashback*

"I'll call ya back!" Tony said while slamming down the end button on the phone machine. "Hi, I was just..."

"Having phone sex?" I asked outgoingly.

"Ha, phone sex? No. It was just charades."

*End of Flashback*

I cannot believe how outgoing I was with him. It was like I had already known him for my whole life.  
Tony is like the peanut butter to my jelly as one would say. Without him i would be lost.

Honestly, I think I am in love with him.

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**Final reviews are always appreciated. Please tell me how you liked this story! **


	5. Chapter 5

Petitioning CBS Television Studios

**CBS Television Studios: Bring Cote de Pablo back to NCIS!**

This is for Cote de Pablo everyone! Please go to google and type in: "CBS Television Studios: Bring Cote de Pablo back to NCIS! petition"

Here you will sign a petition for her return.

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For 8 years, Cote de Pablo has been an intrinsically important part of the CBS smash hit that is NCIS. Voted TV's Sexiest Law Enforcement Officer, and even one of the US's all time favorite celebrities, Cote has delighted us with her presence on the show as her beautiful yet deadly character Ziva David.

Now after an 8 season run with her on board, the 22 million average viewers of NCIS are forced to look at the bleak future of a program without her, and that is something that has shocked and devastated a large amount of people.

Ziva is a character that has inspired many girls and women to become the people they are today: to not give up through hardship, fight for their own happiness and find your family. She has taught values such as strength, resilience and courage. I know she has been a huge role model to me personally and it absolutely devastates me to see her character written off like this after such a long time.

So this is why I am making this petition today: please bring Cote back! NCIS isn't NCIS without Cote de Pablo, and this is on behalf of all viewers out there who feel the same.


End file.
